A View of "Mantra"

(This is an especially difficult piece. Someone I know and respect just experienced a very tragic loss. When I was told about what happened and how she was coping, everyone said, "She says she's fine, but...." The thought would trail off into the unspoken knowledge that we can not imagine what she's going through, and that she's as fine as can be expected right now. This poem is what I imagine is going through her mind and soul right now.)

How are you holding up?
I am fine.
I say this over and over,
I am fine.
I want to scream this at everyone who asks,
I am fine,
as I hang their coats and politely offer pastries,
I am fine.
My words stumble, ensnared in my throat.
I am fine.
I can only manage a meek whisper,
I am fine.


Black soulless eyes aimed at me.
I am fine.
Black soulless eyes could not see me.
I am fine.
Blacken the mirrors so I cannot see my eyes.
I am fine.
Blacken the mirrors, but I still see blackened hollow eyes.
I am fine.
I am dancing on a knife blade.
I am fine.
Too numb to feel the cut to the bone.
I am fine.
My tear tracks cross your needle tracks.
I am fine.
The sudden smack of life wasted,
I am fine.
My arms still feel the chill,
I am fine,
of the life leaving your body,
I am fine,
of the poison turning your blood to ice.
I am fine.
Why have you left so senselessly?
I am fine.
How could you do this to me? To you?
I am fine.
You will never answer me.
I am fine.
It will forever haunt me.
I am fine.
I have only the memory of your endless eyes,
I am fine.
To stare through, but never see me.
I am fine.
God, grant me the wisdom to believe it,
I am fine.
God, let me to learn to love the lie,

I am fine.

(c) 2012 – Tracey Morris, All Rights Reserved

The story of Kathe Kollwitz, reflected her life experiences,

including the loss of a child, her husband, the destruction of much of her artwork,

and threat of being sent to a concentration camp during World War II.

This piece, "Mother with Dead Child," is one of her most evocative works.